Maybe We Should Talk....

Wow Haley! We've only just begun our project and already we've missed a day. Hmmm....what to do what to do? Is a punishment in order? Anyhow, despite the fact I'm super tired and I only got two hours of sleep last night (I kid you not, TWO!) I am blogging.

A pet rock project! Yes, I am very excited about this challenge. I already have my rock picked out and named. So here is a quick introduction to my rock:




Name: Charles (Chuck for short)
Age: Super old, he's a rock duh?!
Hobbies: Sleeping, breaking windows, taking long romantic walks on the beach, going swimming
Sexual Preference: Unknown as he is a rock
Favorite Color: Stone Grey
Favorite Animal: Snails
Pet: Charles has a pet lady bug, he currently seems to have gone MIA

Pictures shall appear soon!
Rhea and Chuck

A Chia Abraham Lincoln

Hey, Re! So I just decided that I'd probably better blog so as to not crush your spirit. I know how fragile you can be. Also, I AM a bit late already...but cut me some slack. It's been crazy here. I've only been back at school for two days, my room is in complete, crime scene-Esq disarray, Kinnicky has apparently chosen my bathtub as the most suitable hiding place for his dismembered plastic mouse toy parts (I'm so proud!), and one of my Christmas presents has directions which suggest that the mysterious device (called a "Fushigi") could possibly cause some kind of rip in the space-time continuum. Also, homework. So. Much. Homework. But all excuses aside, I thought that we should be getting to our first challenge. So, I am pleased to present to you....

The pet rock project!!!!

Yay!!!

Ah, yes. Classic yet wonderful. The pet rock. The goal of the Pet Rock project is to make an original Pet Rock with a unique personality, and to care for it for at least a week, posting updates on your rock's progress. Here are the steps:

1. Get a rock. (If you are having trouble finding a rock, as they tend to hibernate this time of year, you may use a more common substance.)

2. Name your rock and give them a personality, complete with exciting back story.

3. Decorate your rock (optional).

4. Create a living space for your rock (optional,l if you want your rock to have no place to sleep at night).

5. Go on many rock-themed adventures!

So with that, I bid you good night. I look forward to your pet rock.

New Years Resolution 2011: Blog to Save your Souls

The new year is upon us. I can hardly believe it's 2011 already! This marks the third decade you and I will have existed in. That's bizarre. To celebrate or punish ourselves, we'll decide at the end of the year, Haley and I have created a resolution. We're going to scale a building in New York! No, in actuality our challenge is something much more difficult. Something that requires death defying feats and more determination than all the Harry Potter characters combined. We are going to do a daily blog. I know, it's shocking but what better way to improve for the new year? A daily blog will push Haley and I to the brink of insanity every day and force us to become creative. Well, more creative (which is almost impossibly seeing as we already have at least 10 insane thoughts a day). Along the way there will be weekly challenges to each other and I'm sure many shenanigans will ensue. Now, like any good project that has two fanatical contributors, there needs to be rules. Honestly, if there were not rules nothing would ever get done on this blog. Think of them as the ten commandments of blogging if you will or the pirates code of writing(except these aren't guidelines). Anyhow these rules must be followed or there will be a wrathful punishment for the offender:

1. Hence fourth this blog shall be updated daily Monday through Friday. (We don't count the weekend as days since we are both inherently lazy).

2. There shall be one challenge per week.

3. The challenger may not remain the same person each week.

4. All challenges must be completed unless the challenged is able to present a legitimate reason as to why this challenge is not possible or just dumb.

5. Challenges may not inflict harm on others (seriously).

6. There must be at least one picture per post.

7. Posts must be two sentences short minimum.

8. If for some bizarre reason a blogger is not able to post on their designated day, either a post shall be emailed to the other blogger in advance with an apologetic note and promise of candy OR.....

A blogger may use 12 passes for days where they just don't have the time to blog. There is only one pass for each month. They are cumulative, you may save them.

9. If a blogger fails to post, the other blogger may not post. THERE WILL BE NO DOUBLE POSTING! (This applies more to me than to you...)

10. Remember, we blog for love.

Happy New Year and Happy Blogging.
Let the Challenge Begin!

HUZZAH!

Rhea

So...umm this is Awkward? Would you like to play Scrabble?

Contemplating...Contemplating...Contemplating

DAMN IT! Is this really what the teenage years are all like? Always contemplating, being socially awkward, and thinking about different ways you can play scrabble. (By the way, if you can figure out what my bizzare scrabble metaphor means by the end of this post, leave a comment- you have earned super special Rhea points.) Haley, I expect you to figure this out and if for some bizzare reason you can't, call me. Immediately. If you don't know what the odd references my class makes in English mean we haven't been talking nearly enough, and this needs to be rectified. Lately though, I feel I have fallen into a teenage angst funk. I want to dispell the funk from my life, but as a teenager I am obligated to feel awkward, misunderstood, and angry AT ALL TIMES. So this feeling is not likely to go away.

BUT.....The funk is partially created by the 2:00 AM bedtime I now currently have EVERY DAY. Reducing stress reduces funkiness, but also spunkiness. (Or sassiness-you have your own word for it, I have mine.) So Haley, you have done nothing to help lift me out of my teenage angst funk by giving me these incredibly perplexing riddles. I have absolutely no idea what they mean but I gace it my best shot.

1. Nursery rhyme number one is clearly about a popular but dull girl in school. She hangs out with her boyfriend two times a week, but doesn't really enjoy him and has some mildly likeable friends. Your probably wondering how I know this. I was going to say I'm psycic, but I'm just going to tell the truth. It has to do with how Mary is so dang contrary which we all know means common (but really is a nicer term for boring). She plants a garden and tends to it because she doesn't have anything better to do with her boyfriend on weekdays. How do I know she only thinks her friends are mildy decent? Well, its the fact she calls them maids all in a row, that's not a very nice way to refer to your teenage friends who are not old maids (yet, they'll reach that point) and came over to look at flowers planted out of sexual frustration.

2. Pie is good. 'Nough said.

3. Wow Haley, I thought you were trying to challenge me here. This rhyme just reeks of the Israeli-Pallestinian settlement crisis. The symbol of Jerusalem is a Ariah, or a lion. It can then be deduced that the Pallestinians are the Unicorns. The Crown is the land they're fighting over because Jerusalem is both these respective cultures holy lands, Jerusalem is referred to as Jerusalem of gold. Thus the crown- DUH! Really, despite these governments thinking it's best to fight over this instead of share the land, some people just want the fighting to end and will do most anything to resolve this conflict like give away plum. (Except not really).

RIDDLES PONED!

So I'm going to go wallow in my teenage angstiness and get some much needed sleep...while I do that you can try to make what you may of these pictures. (Guess where they were taken), and make up plausible meanings to my obscure scrabble references. (No it's not that smart-ass, I know what your thinking-see there it goes again it comes out in bouts of teenage annoyance). SOOOO I PRESENT THE MYSTERY PHOTOS!



Numero One:

Number Two:

The Wonderful Things that Come from Memory Loss

Yay! I'm finally blogging again! So excited. It's been months, my dear friend. But i'm sure that this exciting collection of random will make up for it! So...yeah. This post is going to be 110% pointless, useless drabble. Starting with:





~ONE OF THE BIGGEST FAILS IN THE HISTORY OF RADIO~





See what I did there? I made it all caps, cuz it's REALLY big...yeah. Anyways. How can one radio station start a riot that results in six deaths and several injuries? Let's find out, shall we?

Our charming tale begins in 1938, with a relatively well known story. A man named Orson Wells re-writes "War of the Worlds" as a radio drama, and plays it on the air as a series of radio broadcasts. Although the broadcasts were introduced as fiction, many intelligent members of society were convinced that martians had indeed landed in New Jersey and were taking over. Wells apologized, and the whole thing blew over quite nicely.

That is, until 1949, when a radio station in Quito, Ecuador, decided to come out with another version of "War of the Worlds". But, being clever and conniving, the radio station decided to actually TRY to make the people of Quito believe that their city was being invaded by aliens.

It was actually an elaborate, well-thought-out plan (in a manner of speaking, that is). Weeks before the show went on, the radio station began to feed phony UFO sightings to the local newspapers. They swore the staff to secrecy and, somehow, no one ever found out. Then, one day, they interrupted daily programming to announce to the 250,000 people of Quito that a town 20 miles south of them was being attacked by extra-terrestrials.

They even had a member of their staff pretend to be the mayor, saying that, "All women and children should run into the jungle and hide. All able-bodied men should arm themselves in preparation to defend their city."

Needless to say, the situation didn't end well. The people of Quito piled into their cars, trying to flee the city. There was complete chaos in the roads, and confusion throughout. When the radio station learned of the mess they had created, they told everyone that the whole thing was a hoax.

The crowd did not take it well. Quikly turning into and angry mob, they proceeded to burn the radio station to the ground. The Equadorian army was sent in, but by that time six people had died in the fire, and several others had been injured. The station's artistic director, Leonardo Paez, was forced to change his name and flee the country.

Fin.

I just can't help but think of 'It's Nerdtastic' in a few years. Only with us, it'd be an invasion of Harry Potter, Luke Skywalker, and Frodo Baggins flying in. Except for Frodo. I think he'd have to walk. Poor Frodo.




P.S.- Thanks to the writers of 'Uncle John's Unsinkable Bathroom Reader'. (Yes, that's what it's called. And yes, I do in fact, own one.) Well, I tried to write it a bit differently...I might have failed a little. Don't sue me. :).





....NEXT RANDOM!!!!





The suspense is killing you, I know it.



Lalalalaaaaa.....hmhmmm.....


*Drum roll*


Ready?


The next random topic is....

.....NURSERY RHYMES!

Okay, so, this is how this is going to work. What I was going to do was put up three nursery rhymes, google their twisted meanings, and post those as well. But, I thought it would be more fun (and i'm just feeling lazy) if I made it a challange for you *cough cough Rhea cough* to get your brains all flowing and ready for school (if I have to suffer, you have to suffer). So, I will just post the nursery rhymes themselves, then you will think about them, then I will post what they really mean at a later date. Got it? Good. Here are the rhymes:

N.R. #1:

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockle shells

And pretty maids all in a row.

N.R. #2:

Sing a Song of Sixpence

Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye,

Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie

When the pie was opened, the birds began to sing

Oh, wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the

King?

The king was in his counting house counting

out his money,

The queen was in the parlor eating bread and

Honey.

The maid was in the garden hanging out the

Clothes

When down came a black bird and pecked off

Her nose.

N.R. #3

The Lion and the Unicorn

The lion and the unicorn were fighting for the

Crown.

The lion beat the unicorn all around the town;

Some gave them white bread and some gave

Them brown,

Some gave them plum cake and drummed them

Out of town.

Okay, so there you go. Have a ball. The last one is my favorite, because it involves a unicorn. :).

We're gonna do one more thing before I hit the sack. And possibly get a snack. Before I go back....yeah. So, without further adue, I bring you:

The Fantastical Beast/ Creature of the Week/ Day/ Post!

...Wow. That wasn't nearly as epic as I'd hoped it would be.

This Week's/ Day's/ Post's Fantastical Beast/ Creature:

The Gnome.

*What IS a Gnome?

Gnomes, to be brief, are little, people-like, underground-dwelling creatures.

*What do Gnomes look like?

Most Gnomes of today are short (about 6 in./15 cm.), with white beards and brightly colored clothing.

*Do they have any special powers or abilities?

Gnomes are known to walk through earth as easily as we can walk on top of it.

*What are their weaknesses?

Sunlight turns them to stone.

*Where do Gnomes live?

All over the world! In the Alps, there is a species of Gnome called the Barbegazi. In Iceland, they are called Vaettir.

~FUN FACT~

Did you know that in Switzerland, bunkers are often called Gnomes, because they look after money like Gnomes guard gold?

Well, that's it. Until next time:

"The purest ore is produced from the hottest furnace. The brightest thunderbolt is elicited from the darkest storm."-Charles Caleb Colten

"I'm not a muggle! My letter's just late!"-Anonymous

So long, Farewell, auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye

Well Haley, it's been a pleasure blogging with you for the past three months. I hope we can continue this project/experiment of friendship when we both get back from CAMP!!!!! I simply cannot wait to see you, and talk to you face to face for once. Really, I guess I shouldn't be saying farewell to you, but rather to our barely-existent readers. I bid all of you adieu, and to Haley I say Hello. So Shalom to all of you. (Which means both hello and goodbye, and alternatively peace.) Have a great August everyone!

Being a Teenager Is Never Easy (Especially if You're the Queen)

My dear, over-heated Haley,

Like the one before it, this post comes to you in parts; specifically, three of them. Before we get to those though, I just have to say even when you’re in a heat wave and tired as hell, you still manage to make me laugh! I’m glad you had an excellent Fourth of July even if you had to walk on crunchy grass.

Part 1- The Mood Swings of Mother Earth:

I assure you, your weather isn’t the only one being weird. Mother Nature is either a really mean, vindictive entity (person?) or the US is experiencing bizarre weather patterns for some reason. People are all like, “Global warming what nonsense- that’s preposterous!” Well then geniuses, how do you explain the fact that today in my lovely home town in the Midwest we experienced 80 degree weather, followed by thunderstorms? That wasn’t the oddest bit: shortly after the thunderstorm it proceeded to hail. In July. In 80 degree weather. I’d just like to remind you all hail is made of ice. There is something slightly wrong with this. After that, it rained some more. Then these weird fog clouds appeared out of nowhere, and started rolling (traveling?) down the street. I suspect dementors; I have been feeling a bit down lately. To top it all off, it’s raining again. YAY!

Part 2- Why Teenagers Who Read (John Green Especially) Will Save America

Ignoring the weather, things have been pretty boring here. I’ve been going to volleyball camp, going to art classes, hanging out with a few select friends, reading, and then waking up the next day to do it all over again. My savior from boredom this long, hot summer comes in a loved and reread copy of Paper Towns by John Green, who's one of my favorite authors. (He would be my favorite, except JK Rowling beats him out with the seven amazing Harry Potter books. I'm sorry John, NO ONE beats Harry Potter!)

I’m really impressed with the fact that out of all the books on the list I gave you, you read my mind and bought Looking for Alaska. That book is sweet, sensitive, and challenged me to think about life, the way I live it, and my relationships with other people. In my opinion, Looking for Alaska summed up parts of the teenage experience and emotions that go along with. I appreciate the fact the book is written in a unique and truthful way; not in the way that many young adults books are, clutching at straws and, cover topics discussing they think teenagers want to hear: sex and drugs, and vampires. Sometimes, we do want to hear those things, but not all the time. Sometimes we want to talk about life, love, and loss. Sometimes we want to discuss how events can change us, and how we can change the things that need fixing in the world. This book has an realness to it that makes it a worthwhile read. Also, I may or may not have bawled like a baby at the end of the book. I propose we do a shared post about the beauty of Looking for Alaska when you’ve finished it.

****See Side note*****

Hales it makes me really happy that you’ve been watching Stephen Colbert, because now I can come out of the closet and confess my dirty secret. I’ll admit it; I won’t deny it anymore. I watch John Stewart most nights, and I laugh loudly at all his liberal Jew jokes. So now you and the world know, and I am not ashamed. (Ok, just a little bit.) What bleeding heart liberals we are. You and other Stephen Colbert watchers are what restore hope in my country’s future. (Just saying.)

Part 3- History Is a Bunch Of Stuff that Happened to Dead People:

Today, or technically yesterday (July 10th) since I am writing this at midnight, I was on Wikipedia. What you may or may not know about me Haley is that I am a Wikipedia junkie. I will admit I am slightly addicted to the "On This Day" section, and read about all the fascinating things that happen on that particular date in time. Some people eat when they’re bored, some people watch TV, I look things up on Wikipedia. Which brings us to a new segment in this blog that I’d like to call interesting crap that happened to people who are dead, or ICHPWD. That’s a bit of a mouthful so I’m just going to take a hint from Wikipedia and call it Today’s News of the Past as told by Rhea and/or Hayley. ( I realize I’ve already wrote a News of the Past segment about Frida Khalo, I must go back and retag that! For that post click here.)

This, in a very roundabout way, brings us back to today’s news of the past: my friend (okay she’s long dead) Lady Jane Grey. I will admit, when I first read her name I only clicked on her article just because I thought it was referring to the Grey Lady in Harry Potter. I was sadly mistaken but, did learn several interesting things about the dear lady.

Lady Jane Grey was the Queen of England for exactly nine days, earning her the title the Nine Days Queen (Some historians think it’s thirteen days actually; the thirteen day queen just doesn’t have the same ring to it.)

Lady Jane Grey's rule is the shortest rule of a monarch in England. Another interesting fact about her, is her life sort of sucked. You’re probably wondering why she only ruled for nine days. You're also probably wondering why her life sucked; unless you already googled her. In which case, PAY ATTENTION! You might think being Queen for nine days might not be that bad. Well, it is if you spend your entire reign trapped in the Tower of London, the old school jail in the days of the royal court, waiting for yourself to be sentenced to death. Back to that later. Lady Grey’s problem really started when she was a young child back in the 1500s. She had incredibly abusive parents even for the time period. This is saying something because flogging, whipping, and verbal abuse were completely acceptable at this time. Jane Grey was apparently quite bright for a girl, spoke three languages, and made her own choice to become a protestant. At the age of ten, she was sent to live with her relative the Queen Consort of England and some of her other cousins. For her sake I hope they were nicer to her. Fast forward 7 years, after a failed engagement Jane at the age of 16 or 17 Jane was married off to Lord Guilford Dudley. Apparently, Jane stated her preference for single life, but her mother forced her into marriage. (Wicked women, destroying the life of a perfect independent, smart, proud women! I unfortunately do know the time period called for it.) I know what your thinking Hales; feminist a bit Rhea?

Anyways, the way the lovely Lady became Queen was through the King failing to provide a heir and he picked Jane because she was the protestant heir of his younger sister. (I think that’s how it happened?) You can read about it one wikipedia here if your intrigued. This family had some seriously bad luck with male heirs. They went through three separate families’ with no male heirs, which is how the unlikely event occurred that Lady Jane took the throne. My favorite part of this story, is that Lady Jane Grey refused to make her husband the king, but offered him the position of Duke of Clarence. (GIRL POWER! and/or meaness- you decide.) Some people in the 1500s, and now believe Lady Jane Grey to not actually be Queen due to some legal issue with Parliament. Again, I don’t really undestand that so check the wikipedia article here. Anyways now we get to the fascinating part, her death. That doesn’t make me sound morbid in the slightest, nope!

Jane and her husband, Lord Guilford Dudley were both charged with high treason in trial on November 13, 1553. Jane was sentenced to be burned alive or to be beheaded “as the queen pleases.” (As the Queen pleases my ass; who the heck wants to be beheaded? See, if I was queen I would please to stay alive and I’m sure she wanted that too.) Fortunately for Jane, it was ordered by imperial ambassador, Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor, that her life was too be spared. Yay, everyone cheers Jane lives, although she isn’t queen anymore- Cousin Mary is, and then, the universe takes another dump on her. In January 1554, there was a protestant rebellion. People were calling for Jane to be reinstated as Queen, and as a precaution the monarchy had her executed to prevent future uprisings. I mean it sucks to be murdered for being a criminal, but it really sucks to be murdered for something you didn’t do. Oh yeah, the worst part of this-her cousin consented to her murder. It took a bit of convincing from Prince Phillip but, apparently they felt taking the precaution was necessary. This girl had a really nasty family; apparently Lady Jane's father knew about the beheading, but did nothing to try to stop it. So Jane was beheaded five days later in a private execution inside the Tower of London which was attended by the queen. The Queen was suposedly there to "honor" her cousin. See, if it was me (which thank the lord it wasn’t) I wouldn’t necessarily want to see the cousin who sentenced me to death.

Jane ascended the scaffold where she was to be beheaded with dignity. After reciting Psalm 51 (Have mercy upon me, O G-d) the executioner asked her forgiveness. Then she asked something of him, “I pray you dispatch me quickly.” Jane proceeded to blindfold herself, and quickly lost all composure. After not being able to find the beheading block she cried out, “What shall I do? Where is it?"

Someone helped her compose herself and guided her over to the block. Her final words were, “Lord, into thy hands I commend my spirit!" After declaring this, she was promptly executed. Today, Lady Jane Grey is apparently regarded as a Protestant martyr. Being Jewish, I have no idea if this is true. Thus ends another gruesome tale from the blood splattered pages of English history.

****Sidenote****

(In case you’re incredibly slow and missed the first two links to Lady Jane Grey’s page here’s a last one: Clickity!)

****Sidenote*****: I don’t know why, but I’ve found I like and have a deeper understanding of all John Green’s books once I read them a second time. I’ve just gotten a lot more out of them when you’re free to think more about the metaphors and less about the plot.

**** Footnote*****: I like hearing stories about prominent women who changed history, stood up for themselves and other women, and made their own choices. So I really liked this story, you know, until the dying part.

Just an observation about myself: In this short post, I manage to reference Harry Potter three times. Ahhhh the joys of being a dork! NERDFIGHTERS!!! (Sorry obscure reference, for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about click here)

I’m very excited to see your hat pictures Haley (Seeing the real hats at camp wouldn’t be bad either!), and read your very well written next post.

P.S. I keep promising you a fashion post and I have one for next time. It’s even long for my standards. It’ll be up after you post yours. It’s been a long time coming, and Haley you should be excited about the lesson you’re going to be receiving about the dying industry of cotoure fashion ;) I’ll be showing you this season’s cotoure lines and referencing Galliano, Givenchy, and Gaultier A LOT! It’s weird that three of my favorite designers who do haute cotoure lines start with G. You can tell this is being written at night. I need to go to bed!

Much Love,
A pleasantly cool Rhea